Frank and Linda have been seeing one another for five years. They met while enrolled in the same anthropology class at a small, countryside, Church affiliated liberal arts college located in the Southern part of the United States. While they were just good buddies at first, they finally started dating when they were in their first year of college.
Since both of them came from very conventional backgrounds, neither one of them drank very much beyond the experimental stage when they first started to date. As the time proceeded, nonetheless, they started to go to more keg parties, sorority and fraternity parties, football bashes, and happy hours. As a result, they gradually began to drink increasingly more the longer they saw one another in a dating capacity.
After they graduated, they both found employment in a relatively small city that was located roughly seventy-five miles from their undergraduate college. Then they finally decided to move in with one another.
With any substantial adjustment in a person's life there is frequently something that initiates the specific alteration in question. For Frank and Linda the thought of having children and buying a new house was this "method of change." In a word, for the first time in their lives, Linda and Frank began to reflect on their abusive and irresponsible drinking and the long term negative consequences of alcohol on their lives. As an illustration, they started to wonder if they would ever experience an alcohol overdose due to their excessive drinking.
Would their excessive drinking adversely affect their ability to have children? How would they be able to continue spending nearly all of their money on drinking if they were to start saving for a new house?
From a different line of reasoning, even though neither one of them ever experienced alcohol poisoning, received a "drunk driving" arrest, or experienced alcohol poisoning symptoms, they understood that their abusive and heavy drinking was becoming an issue that they could not ignore any longer. All of these uncertainties undoubtedly indicated the same conclusion, namely that Frank and Linda needed to identify more completely with the fact that they couldn't maintain their abusive and heavy drinking if their goals, aspirations, and dreams were to be realized.
Once they settled upon this conclusion, they alerted their drinking friends about their their marital plans, about their goal of buying or building a new house, and about their plans to start a family. They also told their drinking buddies that they still wanted to hang around with them but that they would be drinking responsibly from this moment forward so that they could start realizing their future goals, aspirations, and dreams.
Much to their amazement, all of their buddies expressed relief because they too had been reappraising their lives and concluded that their life-styles were too focused on drinking. They also realized that they would have to change extensively if they were to become more adult-like and show more concern for their plans, their health, and for their careers in the next twenty or twenty-five years.
After their candid discussion with their friends about their dreams, hopes, and plans, Frank and Linda in reality started to have more significant relationships with all of their friends. The main reason for this was the fact that all of them had the same frame of mind regarding their heavy and irresponsible drinking and their short and long-term goals, plans, and aspirations.
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